WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?

• WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?

With recent reports showing that one in four young adults will be single their whole life by the age of 50. You may be wondering if you always be Netflix and chilling by yourself but is there a scientific reason why you are single.

The first thing we may to blame forever alone 

status is our parents and more specifically the effect they have on our attachment style.

§  ATTACHMENT STYLE

Psychologists describe attachment styles as the ways we interact in our relationships, attachments styles are first built during infancy and what style you will end up with is the result of the parenting you got as a child.

Psychologists have long posited that single people are more likely to have an insecure attachment style while that may be partly true recent research has shown that single participants are just as likely as coupled people to have a secure attachment style but are more likely to attach to friends, siblings or relatives over romantic figures in that case you may be getting fulfillment from other people and may not require a romantic figure to satisfy emotional needs.

·      SECURE ATTACHMENT STYLE

If you were consistently cared for and had strong emotional support, you likely developed a secure attachment style which means today you are confident trusting and can comfortably develop intimacy with others.

·      INSECURE ATTACHMENT STYLE

If you were less consistently cared for with parental figures who varied between being overprotective and inattentive then you may have developed one of two insecure attachment styles an avoidant style where you have little desire to seek other people out or an anxious ambivalent style where you fear rejection.

§  SCIENTIFIC RESEARCHES

·      GENES

Another answer as to why you're flying solo may lie in your genes specifically the genes that express your serotonin receptors. One study of 600 young adults found that 50% of people with CC genotype on their ht1 a gene were in a relationship but only 39% with a CG or GG genotype or in a relationship. Notice the G allele may be the culprit here, having the G allele means you'll have a lower level of serotonin in your brain and studies have found rats and monkeys with lower levels of serotonin are less sexually receptive and more aggressive to mates.

·      Alexithymia SYMPTOMS

It is a difficulty in describing an identifying and distinguishing between feelings and the bodily sensations of emotional arousal.

It is also understood to have two components;

•    A cognitive component where people might face challenges with thinking and emotions while trying to name, understand and talk about feelings
•    An affective component where people might struggle with the experience of sharing, responding to and sensing emotions.

·      MARRIED LIFE

But is the married life really better for you while many studies have linked being married to having better health some have pointed out these studies often exclude divorced people from their samples. One study found women who got married gained more weight and drank more than single women, who also ate better and exercised more.

Ø COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT

Another study found single individuals were more likely to have greater involvement in the broader community and were more likely to stay in touch with family, friends and neighbors.

CONCLUSION

It may also be important not to rush into a relationship. One long term study of young adults found that of relationship can improve your self-esteem but only if it is well-functioning stable and lasts for about a year or longer failing this criteria a low quality relationship might actually give you a lower self-esteem and a serve blow to your emotionally all in all the science says it's best not rush into something unhealthy and that sometimes the single life is the best.